It has been an interesting experience being "new" at church for the last three months. Harder than I expected. Warren and I were established in our last ward. We lived there 6 years. It was quite a transient ward, so we were one of the "old timers" pretty quickly in that ward. Warren served as Elders Quorum President, in the Bishopric and on the High Council, so he really was involved with the ward members. I felt like with the exception of a few new people I knew everyone and was friends with many, many people. Your social life doesn't have to revolve around church, but when you're actively involved it sort of does as a byproduct.
Now I'm the new person and I'm not used to it yet. I can be outgoing when I'm in my comfort zone and I'm the one inviting the newcomer to join. I did that a lot in Santa Monica. But I can also be shy when I'm the new person and no body is saying anything to me. Right now I'm so low on emotional energy that I don't feel like spending a lot of energy on introducing myself. So I'm not really meeting people very quickly.
I lived in this ward from age 11-13, so I recognize some of the people that lived here 20 years ago and are still here. And my grandparents have lived here a long time. So I think some people know me and just assume I know who they are.
Today I took Rebecca to a primary activity. It was such a strange feeling to be at a church function and not know anyone and not have a bunch of people I'm trying to say hello to and talk to. But I was there for my kids. And when I go to church tomorrow I will be going not because I want to catch up with all of my friends, but because I want to worship and show my love for my Savior. And who knows. I might even make someone else happy who is feeling more lost than I am.
I'm reminded of my first big fireside in the Marriott Center at BYU. I was surrounded by thousands of people, yet I felt so alone. These moments of being taken out of our comfort zone, our familiar surroundings and the people that make us feel safe will help us remember who we should really cling to and stay close to. If we are close to Him we will never be alone.
7 comments:
(sorry, there were too many spelling errors in that first post ... let's try that again):
thank you for this post ... i really needed it. i have been in 3 wards in 3 different stakes in the past year and have been "new" a lot lately!! of course, since i lived here for over a decade before, i knew people in each of my wards, but it still is work to get back in the groove of a place. i hadn't realized i was feeling the way you described until i read the words ...
hope you get reached out to a lot in your new place and that you become an "old timer" in all the good ways, soon.
oh, and enjoy having warren sitting with you - i suspect it won't last for long!!
I know it isn't easy being new. I still haven't been in any ward for more than two years since I graduated from high school. I found it was especially hard leaving LA and student wards, where members really cleave together. Just give yourself time. It will come and as your involved in church activities, you'll find those who have common interests. Your a great person and people can't help wanting to be around you inside and outside of the church.
I just posted the last comment from my husbands account. Hate it when that happens.
It took me longer here than it has before, but I now love my ward and very much feel a part of it. It will happen for you, too. And what a good way to look at it, going to church isn't to socialize(although I know that part is fun).
I have a feeling La Mirada isn't the same as Santa Monica... It's just a different energy which attracts a different genre of people.
A place like La Mirada is not used to people coming and going. They're not unfriendly; it's just that strangers are a novelty and they probably don't know how to react!
In my years of traveling I've never thought, "This is the PERFECT place to live!" Each location has it's own endearing qualities and quirks. Some places you take to immediately, other take some time.
It's culture shock. It doesn't matter if you moved only 45 minutes away- it happens regardless!
Hang in there.
Thank you all for your wonderful comments. I'm going to reply in more depth in my next post.
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