Being Strong

A little while ago I was talking to friend who underwent an extremely difficult trial last year. She said her mom would often say to her something along the lines of: “You can get through this, you’re a strong person.” She said she got tired of hearing that she was strong because she didn’t feel strong. It made me think. What does it mean to be strong. When are you truly strong? Do you ever know if you are strong?

I looked into the scriptures a little bit. Interestingly, but not surprisingly, strength as described in the scriptures is probably the opposite of what the world would say. I think the world would classify being strong as being able to handle something yourself. That might be an oversimplification, but I think there is truth to it. If you’re strong you get through things without having to ask for help, without complaining and without showing any weakness to those around you. In the scriptures I discovered that we are strong precisely when we acknowledge our weakness, when we turn to the one person who is truly strong, the Savior. We become strong in Him. We become strong when we are humble, when we admit that we can’t do it on our own. In fact, when we accept that we not only can’t but shouldn’t go the road alone is when we truly start to become strong.

Ether 12:27 speaks of weak things becoming strong.

“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

Moroni writes here about how weaknesses make us humble and then by turning to Christ in faith we become strong. It is interesting to me that the Lord says that we are purposefully given weaknesses in effect to finally become strong jointly with Christ.

As it states in Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

Another scripture that has always caught my attention is Helaman 3:35.

“Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God.”

It always struck me how someone could wax stronger in humility. But I think it goes along with the scriptures I have already quoted. If you are turning to Christ in faith and humility since he is by your side you become a stronger person. You are strong because you realize your dependence on him and his ability to help you.

Doctrine and Covenants 1:28 is yet another example of this: “And inasmuch as they were humble they might be made strong, and blessed from on high, and receive knowledge from time to time.”

I think it is our tendency as mature individuals to want to do things on our own. It is very evident that it is part of human nature as I watch my two year old who is trying to do anything himself that he is capable of and even some things he isn’t. I think there is a natural inclination as adults not to want to rely on others, not to be a burden, a bother. It’s not just for appearances, I think we really want to be strong, be independent, to feel a sense of personal accomplishment. We want to feel: I managed on my own. But the irony is that we can’t truly become strong until we are relying on the Lord. For me personally it plays out this way. I go along my merry way, trying to accomplish all the things I have set out for myself. It is usually more than I can possibly do. Plus life throws a few things into the mix. Church callings, family members with trials, sickness, parenthood, the desire to be a perfect friend, daughter, mother, wife... Suddenly I feel very weak. I feel inadequate to handle what life is throwing at me. It is during these moments that I have several choices. I can get depressed and very discouraged about my inabilities to manage life, or I can turn to Christ, give Him my burdens, humble myself, ask for help and let him comfort me and lift me back to a place where I can cope. It doesn’t change the events that are going on, but somehow by humbling myself and asking for help I become stronger. I have experienced both sides, the depression and the turning to the Lord and a combination of the two. Sometimes I remember where to turn on my own. Most often a loving husband or friend gently reminds me where to go for help.

This quote from a woman I love comes from a slightly different context, but is still applicable here: “The distance between the regret of wishing I hadn't done or said a thing, and the time I turn my heart toward the Lord is getting shorter.”
I hope that as my life progresses the distance between the time I try to do things on my own strength and the time I turn my heart toward the Lord and let him help me carry my burdens will get shorter. I hope I will “always remember Him” (Moroni 4:3) and remember to rely on him. I do want to make it clear here that I’m not talking about taking away individuality, or removing one’s ability to make decisions and choices and have personal creative space. But I am talking about turning to the Lord in humility and faith through weaknesses and trials.

And so to my dear friend who didn’t feel strong. I believe very deeply that you are strong. You went through one of life’s most difficult trials. And from everything I know about you, you have turned to the Lord throughout it all. Not only that, but you have chosen to teach your children to turn to the Lord.
And He will make you and your family strong.

“...And because thou hast seen thy weakness thou shalt be made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have prepared in the mansions of my Father.”
Ether 12: 37